Conversations with my best friends: new military training tactics.

If you’ve read this post, you know who I’m talking about. For those of you too lazy to go read it (seriously, it’s like three short paragraphs and hella funny), the basic run down is that my friend Desiree and I both studied International Security and have a general contingency plan in place in the event that one of us (most likely her) gets kidnapped by terrorists. So now you know where we’re coming from and how most of our conversations go. 

This one started when I remembered it was graduation weekend at my university, so I texted her to say I was proud of her and that  wished I could be there.

Her: You and [Boyfriend] should have road tripped!

(note: her boyfriend lives on the east coast and would have to detour to Ohio to get me before going to Oklahoma)

Me: A road trip with me would prepare [Boyfriend] for an AlQ interrogation.

(He’s military)

Her: Haha he’d be ready for anything!

(See how she’s not concerned with the fact that I may take sandpaper and saltwater to her boyfriend? Best friend right there.)

Me: THAT’S how we should train the military. Send them on a road trip with their significant other’s best friend.

Her: And see if they make it out alive! Spec ops here they come!

(She’s totally on board with my plan. Someone call the guys in charge.)

Because what is more terrifying than meeting your significant other’s best friend? You know that once you’re out of earshot the hammer will come down. The fate of your relationship may hinge on that impression you make on that five-foot-two girl your girlfriend went to college with. Probably not, but let’s be real. The second you screw up, the best friend will get a text about it and will send eye daggers in your general direction. Real daggers if you’re especially unlucky. 

And Des, happy graduation. I know you’re reading this because I texted you the link. I’m so proud of you, and so glad you burst into my dorm fall semester of freshman year and camped out on my floor when you didn’t understand the Arabic homework. And when you dragged me and half the floor out of the study room because you wanted to go to Tea Cafe. And drove two days to get to Disney World to spend spring break with me. ❤ 

Also, happy birthday.

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