Actually Cooking: Gluten Free Soft [Kinda] Pretzel Bites

Look at this amazingness.
Look at this amazingness.

I’m gonna put the recipe right up here so you don’t have to read my incoherent rambling if you don’t want to. I hate when you find a recipe on a blog but it’s way at the bottom of the post.

Gluten Free [Kinda] Pretzel Bites

(all amounts are approximate because I don’t know what I’m doing.)

1/4 cup potato flour
1/8 cup tapioca flour
3/8 cup rice flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 egg white
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 whole egg
onion powder and paprika to taste
1 packet yeast
1 tablespoon sugar
3/4 cup warm water

Activate the yeast by mixing the yeast packet with the sugar and warm water. Set it aside and let it do its thing.

Mix together the flours, salt, and baking powder. Add the oil, and the egg white. I know it’ll look crumbly and gross but just do it. Mix as well as you can. Then slowly add the yeast mixture, mixing as you go. You might need more water. You want a sticky dough. Cover it with plastic wrap and let it sit. It may or may not rise.

When it’s done rising, get about ten cups of water boiling, and add a tablespoon or two of baking soda, mixing it well. While the water is heating up, divide your dough into whatever shape you want your pretzels to be in. Put the pretzel blobs into the water a few at a time, and the second they float, take them out and put them on a baking sheet that has been lined with parchment paper. Once you’ve gotten them all through, let them dry for a bit as you beat the whole egg in a small bowl, and add whatever spices you’d like.Then gently coat your blobs with the egg wash.

Stick ’em in the oven (425F), for about 20 minutes, rotating the baking sheet halfway through if your oven cooks unevenly like mine.

Okay. So for the past few days I’ve really been wanting a soft pretzel. Except eating a soft pretzel would entail a week of pain and torment, thanks to gluten intolerance. So I scoured the internet, looking for a recipe to make something that could pass for a soft pretzel that my limited kitchening skills could create.

I tried a recipe or two, but even with various brands of gluten free flour mixes it turned out either too dense, or too crumbly, or would fall apart in the baking soda bath. So I sat in front of my pantry with a bowl and a quarter cup measure and thought.

I remembered that when I tried making dumplings for soup, using mostly potato flour resulted in a dumpling that was gummy and chewy and dense. I didn’t like it. But, pretzels are supposed to be gummy and chewy and kinda dense, so I put a quarter cup into my mixing bowl. Then, I found tapioca flour. I used an eighth cup, because it was in the same general area as the potato flour so might as well. Finally, I used three eighths of a cup of rice flour, because that also made things a bit gummy and dense.

Coming out of the pantry, I added some salt and baking powder and some olive oil, because other recipes called for it, as well as an egg white, because at this point I’m flying by the seat of my pants so might as well. I figured the egg white would make things fluffier, since all my flours were so dense.

All in all, I didn’t actually get a soft pretzel. What came out of my oven looked a lot like pretzels. But while it was slightly chewy yet crisp on the outside, it was denser on the inside, almost potatoey (well duh. I used potato flour). And since I put onion powder in the egg wash, didn’t need a dipping sauce. These are so good.

And that’s what happens when you start inventing recipes at 10pm. Sorry about the kitchen, mom.

I may not be posting here as often, but you can find me on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Tumblr again, or even Pinterest. If you’ve got an idea for a blog collab, want to submit a Go Through My Stuff post, or just want to say hi, email me at thisisnotaquickstory@gmail.com.

xo

V.

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