Macarons are the Devil in Cookie Form.

Guys, I have nothing against cookies. I really enjoy baking. I really enjoy macarons. So I wanted to bake macarons. It doesn’t look like it would be too difficult. Egg whites, powdered sugar, almond flour, done. But wait. The egg whites need to be aged. And if you try grinding almonds into almond flour, you’re just as likely to end up with almond butter, which, although just as delicious, is no good when you’re baking cookies. And once the very finicky batter is made, the cookies need to be piped out exactly, and they need to rest. The cookies need to rest. The goddamn batter circles need to take an hour long nap before they can go into the oven and become cookies.

So I looked up a million different recipes, and watched a million different YouTube tutorials on how to make these mystical cookies, and thought I had it down. I made a meringue. I sifted the flour mixture. I let the cookies rest. I propped the oven open with a spoon so they would be dry enough.

All for naught, because my first batch came out flat and lumpy.

My second batch came out tasting like chalk.

The third didn’t make it past the rest, because the batter spread and everything got gunky.

Then I bought a macaron mat off Amazon, thinking that that was my problem.

The fourth batch, I don’t think I filled the moulds on the mat properly or let it bake for long enough because the shells came out hollow.

The fifth batch is resting now, and I am praying to every god that it comes out nicely because I really want pretty macarons!!!

I feel like these damned cookies are going to age me prematurely. My first grey hair will be because of a damn cookie.

But I am stubborn. So maybe by batch 49 we’ll have a decent cookie.

UPDATE: As of late last night I made not one, but two successful batches of macarons out of the oven. I am so pleased with myself. 


4 thoughts on “Macarons are the Devil in Cookie Form.

  1. Haha I love this part: “The goddamn batter circles need to take an hour long nap.” Macarons are too high-maintenance! I’m also not crazy about the taste/texture. Maybe I’m just not classy enough to fully enjoy them.

    1. What ended up happening to me was that the first few times, I would constantly check on the batter to see if it was ready to go into the oven. But yesterday was raining and there was a lot of humidity in the air, so after checking the batter like five times I got distracted and suddenly it had been two hours and I needed to preheat the oven. So…longer naps make better cookies?

    1. The recipe isn’t hard, but it’s also very easy to screw up. But now that I’ve managed it once, I think I would be able to do it again, easier. It just takes a monumental amount of patience, of which I have very little, hah.

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